Pursued by God

ROI Loving

Invest (verb): to commit money in order to earn a financial return.

I have encouraged husbands and wives to invest in each other. I have instructed people to invest in knowing God. What could be nobler than the investment of relationship with others and relationship with God? I am rethinking that advice because I have seen the results of investment thinking.

By very definition, when I invest in something or someone, I expect a return on investment (ROI).  Overlaying relationships with investment language betrays our core beliefs. I give to get. And I’m not stupid enough to give out no interest loans. I assume I will get back more than I give and the greater the ROI, the more motivated I am to invest.

As long as I love someone with an eye to getting something, my love is not about them. It’s about me. This is not what God has called me to. He has called me to give without expectation, to love without reward. Let’s stop ROI loving, because if I am unwilling to love without a promised return, I am unwilling to love. 

 

Love Because

“I’m going away,” he said. “And I want you to know that I’m coming back. I love you because …”

“Don’t say anything,” Fatima interrupted. “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”  -From The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Why do we love? What causes us to love another human being? His quirky sense of humor? The way she makes you feel? The way she looks into your eyes? His laugh, depth, quiet confidence or unshakeable integrity?

Lovers ask, “Why do you love me?” This is a dangerous question, because any response displays conditional love. If I can give you a reason why I love you, what happens if that reason changes? What if your confidence is shattered, your integrity marred, your gaze distracted? What happens to my love then?

I love for one reason: because I have decided to. Label me a romantic. There is one reason I experience real love. God loves me because he decided to. He does not love me because of who I am, but in spite of who I am. His love for me is not based on my character, which can change. It is based on his unchanging character, and there is nothing I can do about it.

If someone asks you, “Why do you love me?”, say, “Because I decided to and there’s nothing you can do about it.” That should make for an interesting discussion.