Pursued by God

His Story of Her Story

I was there when you found out what he did. He had vowed before me and other witnesses that he would give himself only unto you, but that vow was shattered. As the shock waves rolled over you, I held you. When you believed it was too much to bear, it was my strength that caught you by surprise.  You thought no one could understand the betrayal, but I did …  because I am intimately acquainted with betrayal. Before you cried out for me I was already with you … and when you cursed me, I refused to leave. As you sat on your bed in the dark, I wept with you.

Even when both of you were ready to give up on your marriage, I was not.  I have loved you both your entire lives. It was I who brought you together that day you met in the grocery store. You felt my affection the day you wore white. Your marriage was never about just two. I was your biggest fan.

When your husband admitted the affair was wrong, that thought did not originate with him. Repentance was not his idea. It was me who caused you to seek help, even when you thought it was over. I know how angry and hopeless you were that day in the pastor’s office. When the two of you sat with him, it was not three in that room, but four of us. I gave him the words you desperately needed to hear. From me, he received the ability to see hope grow from ground that had been scorched.

Then the thing you never saw coming happened. I gave you mercy in the face of failure, grace in the presence of brokenness. When you said what he did was unforgiveable, the desire to forgive ambushed you. I gave you a new heart. I repaired what you called irreparable. I redeemed what you thought was hopeless. I helped you find something you believed forever lost.

I set your marriage on a new journey. One better than anything you had previously experienced. When you told your pastor last week that your marriage was the best it has been in eight years, I smiled. I have made your marriage new. I get the credit. You get the joy.

You Know You Can Trust Me

He has hurt you deeply. You don’t know if you can ever forgive him, yet there he stands.

“Please forgive me. I swear it will never happen again.” 

You’re confused. You believe God wants you to forgive this person, but every fiber of your being screams, “Don’t trust him!” You have heard those words before.

Do not confuse forgiveness with trust.  Undeserved forgiveness makes you look like Jesus. Unearned trust makes you look like a fool. You are called to forgive without condition. You are never called to trust without reason. Trust is based on a man’s character, but forgiveness is based on God’s character.

Trust takes years to build and seconds to lose. The reality of human existence is that you can never fully know what is in another person’s heart. Each of us is capable of deception. But you can know what is in God’s heart and he alone can be completely trusted.

The word, “trust”, appears 89 times in the bible. Never is it used to encourage trust in people. Just the opposite, God very clearly states that He is the only one who can be trusted fully.

Without a hint of guilt, look into your offender’s eyes and say, “I love you, I forgive you, but I will need time to trust you.”

Mic 7:5-7

5 Do not trust a neighbor;

put no confidence in a friend.

Even with her who lies in your embrace

be careful of your words.

6 For a son dishonors his father,

a daughter rises up against her mother,

a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law ó

a man's enemies are the members of his own household.

7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord ,

I wait for God my Savior;

my God will hear me.

 

1 Cor 4:2

2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.

Ps 13:5-14:1

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord ,

for he has been good to me. 

Doing Time

 Unforgiveness may not be in the dictionary, but it’s in my heart. It does not define me, but it shapes me. If you are honest, it is a part of you. Maybe a big part. In a perfect world you would never get hurt or hurt others, but you don’t live in that world. Wounds are part of our imperfect existence. Our deepest wounds usually come from our deepest relationships. So what do we do with those wounds? Often, forgiveness is in our vocabulary, but not in our soul. 

We refuse to forgive the one who wounded us, believing that we are locking them in a prison of penance. We want them to pay for what they have done.  The truth is that we do not hold that kind of power over someone else. Instead of shaping the other person, our choices shape us. We wake up one day to the realization that we are the ones imprisoned. Our refusal to forgive has trapped us in a bitter cage.

You may not have the power to imprison others, but you possess the key to unlocking your cell. Choose forgiveness. Destroy your prison. Set yourself free.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” -Mark Twain

Kevin Feldotto

coloradowriter.net